IT ALL STARTS WITH A MILKSHAKE

Mothers often take their babies for a coffee morning where they first observe adults taking decision and making choices. Gradually they can read the menu and have developed their taste buds by now. As they grow older they begin to go out with friends, hanging out at Milkshake Parlours and that’s what we hope continues in the future.

Here is the beginning, of our children making independent decisions and for this day we can as parents empower them to make the right choices.

Children have been making choices from the very beginning, even their movements in the womb are completely driven by them without any external controls.

The skill of making choices from a young age are early signs of cognitive development.

‘FREEDOM OF CHOICE’ - a concept I learnt as part of my Montessori training. Freedom may have different connotations for different parenting styles, in my experience personally and professionally ‘FREEDOM’ comes in a package.

A package involving ‘RESPONSIBILITY / OWNERSHIP’ and ‘CONSEQUENCES’.

Big words but each of them are inter-linked and have an important part to play in ‘MAKING DECISIONS’.

As children develop and from a younger child’s perspective, they freely choose their toys to play, which should be rightly encouraged as it develops their thinking and problem solving skills but with that freedom comes the responsibility. In this case it may be as simple as tidying up their toys and respect what they have.

When they realise that inability to take that responsibility to tidy or complete a task will have consequences such as shorter play time or fewer toys, they begin to be aware of their choices.

Each day I see Young Children spilling their drink or food, but you know your magic has worked when they fetch a cloth and tidy up in earnest. They now know that you trust them to still pour their drink because, they will not only tidy up but be more careful each time they exercise their choices. Here you observe the Choices,  Responsibility and Ownership framework play out. 

The journey of raising a child gets more challenging as they grow older and now their choices are related to varied aspects, some of which we may not be completely in charge of. It’s about prioritising those various influences their lives are surrounded by. Be it academic, peer choices, careers or personal decisions, there are endless choices to make.

We should try to build a strong, secure environment around them whilst imbibing our own core values. Respecting and supporting their choices or decisions, but also informing them of the consequences that their actions will hold. Understanding the ramifications will encourage them to take decisions that are balanced and beneficial for their future.

Decisions that are made with adequate knowledge will only result in a desirable outcome towards their Goals.

How do we as parents contribute to Making Decisions?

By sharing our decisions, experiences and the consequences we faced, establishes respect, honesty and also develops a stronger bond enabling them to connect with you when they are making their own decisions.

After all good decisions come from overcoming the fear of failure and the ability to make the right judgement which in turn comes from the experiences we encounter....... or share with our children!!

By

Anu Raina