Time Heals .. but also .. Deepens the Love!

Pain, suffering, or the loss of someone dear is never easy to overcome. Anyone or anything we have held close to our hearts is never easy to part with or say goodbye to. No one truly prepares you for it. You may hear others speak about loss, but when you find yourself at the center of it, words often fail. You may feel helpless, silent, or completely overwhelmed.

During my years of working closely with young children, I encountered many whose families were facing serious illness or unexpected loss. Such circumstances inevitably affect a child’s behavior. How do we know? We know. Especially with younger children—because while they may not always have the words, their actions speak their emotions.

I once taught a little girl whose mother was battling cancer and had limited time to live. Every morning was a struggle. She couldn’t understand why everyone else stayed home while she had to come to school. She was strong-willed and sought constant adult reassurance. Her mother, however, wanted her to build friendships and experience life beyond the heavy atmosphere at home.

Routine became her anchor.

Slowly, she began to engage in creative activities. Each day she would make something for her mother. She told us that her mum was making a scrapbook for her “for when she goes,” and she wanted to add her own creations and photographs to it.

Sometimes her classmates would ask:

“What happened to your mum?”

“She isn’t very well and has to go to get better.”

“Where is she going?”

“To God, He will make her better.”

“When will she be back?”

“She will become a big bright star and watch me!”

I was deeply touched by the child’s innocent and courage and also the family’s honesty on how they gently normalized the situation so she could process it in her own way. I could see immense strength and love amidst the tragedy and how this child and the family was on a healing process with a routine and creativity. (Her mum would rarely come to pick her up and share what each other had created for the scrapbook at the end of the day!.. the scene brings tears to my eyes even today)

Her mother passed away that summer. Soon after, the family moved to the countryside to live with her grandmother. We never heard from them again. For a long time, I often wondered how she was doing.

Over the years, I have seen many kinds of loss—family members, illness, even beloved pets. Every child responds differently, and much depends on how families choose to share and support them.

Continuous, Clear conversations always bring Clarity!

I also remember a young boy who returned to school wearing a bright, “cool” helmet. Naturally, the class was curious. We invited him to tell everyone about it.

With pride, he explained:

“There was something in my head, like a tiny ball. The doctor said it had to be removed so I can think and play better. This helmet keeps my head safe after the operation.”

The children listened quietly. From that day on, they were extra gentle and careful around him.

The unconditional kindness and empathy children show is extraordinary. What makes it even more beautiful is that it comes without expectation.

When I was on sick leave, one of my pupils made a card for me every week to send through with a friend of mine! These little gestures remind us of how impactful we can be in a child’s life!

There is so much we can learn by simply observing them. Children are often braver and more open about difficult realities than many adults. They are also the best listeners—fully present, undistracted, and completely yours in the moment.

Sometimes the smallest hands offer the biggest comfort! Try holding your child’s hand after a long day.. purest form of comfort!

What we must remember is that young children are far more resilient than they appear. Honesty, simple language, and maintaining routine help them feel safe and grounded. When families and teachers work together, children are better able to process difficult experiences.

Explaining life cycles in clear, concrete ways helps them understand loss. Keeping memories alive through stories, shared moments, and remembrance strengthens emotional bonds rather than weakening them.

People often say that time is a great healer.

I would add—

Time not only heals…..

It deepens love while it heals!!!!

By

Anu Raina