Embracing Failure...
- Anu Raina
- Feb 27, 2021
- 2 min read
Failure can be given many names.. some as simple as ‘MISTAKES’ or some as emphatic as ‘CATASTROPHE’, but the essence of the word is ‘when we do NOT SUCCEED at what we had HOPED or PLANNED for’.
As parents we constantly APPLAUD at every step the child takes through his or her development. We begin to compare and compete with our childhood and also that of other children, running from one activity to another, attending those football clubs the moment your child has shown an interest in kicking the ball..
In the hope that .. maybe they will ‘SHINE’ in a particular way. We congratulate and CELEBRATE every achievement as they move from one level to another giving them the feeling of ATTAINMENT and SUCCESS!
With the result children develop a ‘sense of pride’ and feel loved by their parents moving ahead for greater goals. Through this they gradually develop an understanding that SUCCESS is related to ACHIEVEMENT.. which is related to ACCEPTANCE and LOVE!!
We have raised their and also our expectations through this journey without sharing with them that they will be loved and accepted irrespective of their achievements.
What happens if somewhere in the path there is amiss? A faulty way? What happens if a friend or colleague takes over? What happens if they realise that in the big ocean there are lots of other similar sized fishes competing for the same and are probably BETTER SWIMMERS than oneself?
Our children may face rejections or realise that they may not be the ACHIEVER they have been believing all this while to be and may even find it difficult to ACCEPT that they have FAILED....
Building a façade of constant praise without specifying what actually you are proud of is giving them FALSE IMPRESSION of what the world out there is...
Yes, everyone has failed at some point and we need to accept this, we need to share this with children, because no matter how many success stories you might listen at bedtime, children from a young age look up to their parents for HELP and INSPIRATION.
Saying ‘NO’ in the early years is their first lesson of failure, they learn that not every action and behaviour is acceptable and will eventually choose methods that will lay the foundation of trust.
The Trust, which will manifest in the bond that you are there to show them how to find a solution to succeed. Failure does not imply that you are not accepted or you are wrong, but instead it implies that maybe the methods you applied needed to have more finesse or your efforts were not of the standards expected.
The quicker you accept the above, means the sooner you are going to find a solution and remedy it..
To be continued....
Written by Anu Raina
Very true Anu! I totally agree and understand how important it is to accept rejections in life with positivity. Only then the success will taste even better. Looking forward to read part 2.
An interesting read and so true for current times when patents applaud their kid's meagre achievements with a huge pomp and pride. It becomes difficult for such kids to accept failure in later stage of their life. It is truly a parents responsibility to let their child know that they r standing beside him even when failure embraces them from all sides.... that their love will still remain the same....come what may. Great job Anu.
Very relevant.... it’s important to let them know that it is OK to loose.
looking forward to part 2.